him.

I want a hilarious and spontaneous young man. I want someone who understands me and that I understand, someone who percieves me as who i have built myself up to be these straining days. I want him to be my best friend. The reason why i want to wake up in the the morning and the reason why I cant shut my eyes at night. I want him to be my everything, in every sense. I want him to break all the barriers that ive spent this long while on. I want to feel a warm feeling inside everytime I hear his name. I want to be protected and cared for whenever im in his presence. I want him to hold me across an empty street at night. I want him to be everything I have ever dreamt of and wished for, and itll be surreal of what ive gotten ahold of. When i see him, I won’t think of what ive doubted for so long, but rather more, the opposite. I want to know everything of him and love to speak of this dream i have prayed for to be a part of. His mind; that which resembles his soul. Ill have a hold of it for itll be truly mine to say. A love that cannot be explained in words. As close as ive gotten, I know its what i want and love. This I know has been taken from me, in such a terrible manner that i tremble at the vulnerability of these words that keep me biting my tongue, not to shed too often, announcing these tragedies. Faith has filled up my lungs, believeing it happened for a reason. Oh, how my heart has longed for it since.

distance, await me.

Oh how distance has a way with me. A few miles tore me apart from what i thought i knew back home. With no hesitation my mind has found a new home, far from here, where the skies light up to spell out my destinations. Oh how ive wondered what it would all have been like. What we cant fix we must have courage to fight for and nor that, then we must wait. Thus, im here. Longing for the years i have long gone without any what i have just experienced. It has turned me inside and out and not fought with all doubts passing easily through this mind of mine that i have worked so hard for to cherish what is at hand at this moment. This desperate time for change has recognized all my troubles and handed them to the shores and roads that wind down to where its been all along. Away from here, anything but here. What i leave behind will be nothing but a second of distraught emotions for this fellow next in line for that of which has already been stretched and ripped to shreds from my insecurities of this short sweet land. I wish to be where the land and miles flow longer with no place to land but fill with times of our years. The sudden state i have been in and chosen knows no control or future, but only directions. These prolonged thoughts have yet to be spilled all over them, they wont know what hit they're unfortunate wasteland of hopeful hearts. Likeliness sings a song of which those consume to believe in and tire they're soul of what a moment is full of. It never seizes to amaze them but i long for a rush of what they're nights are made of. Where i want to be wont see what they're is yet to be, it forsees blindness. For those who know distance, choose wisely. Home is where the heart is. Regardless.